The Struggle of ADHD

Some of you might know what exactly ADHD is. Some may not. One thing for sure is, no one knows everything about ADHD. Every ADHD is different. No two individuals with ADHD have the same way of showing their symptoms. Sure a lot of individuals have the same symptoms but they all display in a different way. One individual may be Really impulsive and the other inattentive. Couldn't pay attention to save their life. Let's just say that ADHD is a complicated genetic disaster. Yes Genetic. Parents pass it down to their children. Even Grandparents pass it down to their Grand children. It could skip a generation. ADHD doesn't just disappear. Medication aka stimulants and diet isn't a cure all. For the majority of people with ADHD the best solution is to know your triggers and to manage it. Again it isn't that simple.

Lets talk about the history of ADHD. It was first introduced in 1902, it was called Abnormal defect of moral control in children. What a line. At this point there was no medication or diet to help. They had just figured out that this disorder existed. They weren't even aware of the fact that ADHD is also always paired with some other disorder. Anxiety, depression, bipolar, dyslexia. ADHD is never alone. Imagine the struggle parents went through not realizing that there was a reason for their child's strange behavior. Finally by 1936 the FDA had approved a drug called Benzedrine. Some sort of help. Not with out side effect though. Side effects included Cardiovascular issues, Reynaud's syndrome, and many more. However this started a chain effect, more research when into the disorder. More drugs became available. 1955 Ritalin became the second drug to treat ADHD. By the 2000's they went through many name changes and many more medication options. They finally settled on ADHD, with subtypes. The subtypes were; Combined ADHD, Predominantly inattentive ADHD, and Predominantly hyperactive-Impulsive ADHD. AS you can tell by the names they aren't all the same. Inattentive is where you just can't pay attention. Especially when it's something that you have no interest to. This also comes with a hard time socializing, and having multiple things going at a time. Oh and procrastination. That's always a fun one. Hyperactive-Impulsive is where you have zero impulse control and your always on the run. You want to do something so you just do it. You don't think of the consequences or the repercussions that your actions could cause another person. On one end this would be great to have the confidence to just tackle whatever it is, no questions. However a lot of the time their actions are not one of reasonable ones. The actions in question can be stealing, drugs, hurting another human. The list is endless and normally never end well for those with ADHD.

For our family ADHD is a dominant trait. My daughter, Son, Father in law, Sister and myself all have ADHD. Disaster is one word I would use to describe it. My daughter was the first our of the three of us to get diagnosed. She was diagnosed in grade one. It started when we realized she was behind in speech, and weight. She was put into a PUFF program aka early learning ( almost like preschool). They had speech therapist, occupational therapist, behavior therapist. Every recourse one would need. With the year her speech picked up, of course not without a lot of extra work at home. At 5 she went to Kindergarten. The entire year she seemed to be fine, until towards the end of the year I realized she could not even write her own name. Every other student was writing multiply words. She could tell me the letters in her name, but she couldn't put those letters to paper. Now I'm not one to compare children's progress, however as a mother when you have a feeling that something isn't right then you listen. After I felt like the school and her teacher could just not care less I took it upon my self to change schools for her. Best decision. In grade one we met the most wonderful and quite possibly the best teacher ever. She had a meeting with me, told me that she is very sensitive and is having a hard time putting what is in her head to paper. I knew this but I was so relieved that the teacher caught it too. She was behind in writing, the teacher was concerned because she didn't have a lot of friends. Math was a struggle, and no matter what we did she just couldn't get it. She would come home and cry cause school was hard. It broke my heart. We had talked to the doctor and he had us both fill out the Vanderbilt assessment, got diagnose with ADHD and started her on medication. What a change. It wasn't overnight. It was slow progress but progress non the less. She has friends and was writing better. She caught up in everything but math. Oh math sweet sweet math. The devil for my daughter. Non the less we had a solution to helping her.

Every three month we go to the doctors for prescription refills and to get her weight checked. For 2 and a half years now. Medication doesn't fix the diagnose it just helps her brain put two and two together. She still forgets her jackets in the park. She leaves something on the counter and forgets she put it there 20 seconds later. She spends a whole day learning division at her father's expense and can't remember how to do it the next day. I could explain the same thing 10 different times and she still wouldn't know what I am talking about. She has my attitude, she's bossy, and she knows exactly what she wants. She is also the kindest most considerate child. She wants to clean and do her own laundry so I don't have to. She wishes She could spend the whole day with me and no interruptions. ADHD is an up and down battle, but it's who we are as people. It's what makes her, her.

As I mentioned above, My daughter isn't the only one with ADHD. YUP my son has it too. Although he has Hyperactive-Impulsive ADHD. The fun one. Not only does it effect his learning. It affects his decision making. He needs constant supervision unless he is IN front of a tv or computer. If he isn't zoned out playing video games or watching YouTube he is getting into some sort of trouble. He doesn't think he just does. You can't control it no matter what. He hurts people and gets into trouble a lot because of it. I know he doesn't think to himself and say "yah that's a great way to get into trouble". His brain thinks of something to do and he does it. It is that simple. There is no trying to make him understand what he did was wrong. His brain doesn't tell him its wrong until after when he gets in trouble. Then we repeat it. He also struggle with learning. He is in grade two and knows 15 out of 26 letters. He can finally spell his name and tell you the letters in it. Sometimes he spells words backwards or get sounds of letters mixed up. He can't read and I'm 90% sure he has dyslexia. He's good at math though. He has a lot of friends. We put so much effort in doing right is for out children. IPP meetings, extra doctor appointments, extra work at home to help them. It's an endless list. I hope it's worth it when they are adults and can function better than I can.

ADHD has pros and cons. We all have something that we are good at. ADHD makes it a little but harder, but it can also make is that much better. We can have a lot of passion for what we do. I love being a mother but ADHD makes it so much harder than it needs to be. Yes I also have ADHD and I didn't get diagnosed until I was 26. It wasn't until my children got diagnosed, that I realized they are a lot like me as a kid. Especially my daughter. Unfortunately because ADHD is genetic it will continue to be a issue, the more we populate the more ADHD'ers are going to be on the world.

When I was diagnosed I went on medication. The world was so much brighter. The skies were clear and blue. Everything made sense. It was the best week of my life. Unfortunately my anxiety had spiked and I had to stop my medication. Trying to raise three kids, two whom have ADHD all while having untreated ADHD as a mother sure is a life challenge. I know that stress and too many thing going on at one time make my symptoms worse. However as a mother, there isn't much you can do to prevent stress. I have to work, clean take care of my kids, be a part of their lives. I have to be active in all thing them, they're young and will look back on this and have memories. These young ages is were we build our relationship with our kids. Were they know they can trust us and rely on us to be there for them. With out that bond and relationship adolescent age will just be impossible for all of us. I've seen what ADHD does to those that can't rely on their parents. I don't want to go there with my kids. I want them to be able to come to me with any problem. Any question that they have. I need them to know that I am always here for them.

Even though ADHD takes over our lives, I believe with the right medication and the right approach we can gain control. It takes a village and I plan on being that village for my children. Consistency is what ADHD loves. Routine is what ADHD loves. We don't need to be strict like the army but we do need to be aware that slacking will only make life worse. ADHD will punish you and make you spiral. We can control ADHD, with a lot of hard work and Struggle. The struggle bus is where I live.